Anyone Separated/Divorced?

[caldude]

Has anyone separated from/divorced their wife?

I'm late 30's and in my first marriage. We've been married 4 years and no children yet. My wife is a very insecure/very controlling/easily jealous/easily angry Filipina woman. She says that if we have a baby she will settle down and focus on raising a baby. She can also be very sweet and shy.

She has a mom, 8 siblings, and about 20 nieces/nephews in the Philippines. None of them have any savings, assets, health insurance, etc. Any time anyone gets sick or in a hospital we get the first phone call asking for money. Even my wife is annoyed with it. We have modestly but consistently supported them financially. I'd say on average we are now sending $500 per month overseas. We can't really afford it.

I've asked her to just say no to her family but she says she can't. I've tried to say no to her but also struggle especially when it's her age 70's mom or a very young niece in a hospital. But, I don't like the constant stress of that dreaded phone call.

There would be many pro's of separating. More adventure, more variety of locations, women, experiences. I'd like to volunteer and teach English in Thailand.

The weird part is we still love each other, and in some ways my life is better, and I'm better with her. I'd really hate to hurt her and know I would. I don't miss the loneliness factor from earlier in my adult life.

Has anyone separated from their wife and came out ok on the other side? and their wife ok too?

Thanks.

[mahalo21]

If you think the $500 per month is painfull, wait for four years worth of alimony and 18 years worth of child support.

You said you still love her and she makes your life better, it might be worth talking to her and seeing a counselor. I would have some balls and tell her you didnt marry her family and you two will get nowhere in life if you are constantly helping the others. You guys need a goal of a home or family that will trump some sick relative. You have enabled them and need to let them fend for themselves, or find another source or welfare!

Of course teaching english in Thailand could be very fun, but its just a different place with similiar circumstances. Foreign women have big families that need welfare all the time.
Charity begins at home!

[CHANCE562]

Originally Posted by aloha21

If you think the $500 per month is painfull, wait for four years worth of alimony and 18 years worth of child support.

You said you still love her and she makes your life better, it might be worth talking to her and seeing a counselor. I would have some balls and tell her you didnt marry her family and you two will get nowhere in life if you are constantly helping the others. You guys need a goal of a home or family that will trump some sick relative. You have enabled them and need to let them fend for themselves, or find another source or welfare!

Of course teaching english in Thailand could be very fun, but its just a different place with similiar circumstances. Foreign women have big families that need welfare all the time.
Charity begins at home!

Well said i got my Divorce 16years ago and it was well worth it for myself and my kids,with out the burden of going broke helping her family out everytime with money.so after everything being done and over,i was paying her 1800.00 amonth in support and 600.00 alimony and i had the kids,on the 10year i went to court filed a case for support against the ex,after everything i had her alimony removed and any back support cleared because she didnt want to pay support money.now i have a big house,my own business,bought another house,paid all the schooling my kids needed and we are driving newer car,so things are great as long as you dont give up,try and work things out and if its not in your cards then just do your best to survive.