It's tough to quit when...

[mahalo21]

I find it motivating to date fit women. I tend to take much better care of myself and really watch what I eat. Remember that these Yoga gals are pretty GREEN...you know the recycle, fresh air, types. So make sure you sharpen those conversation skills. The yoga instructor can also point you to available gals after a bit. The gals are creatures of habit and usually go to the same time slots or have their favorite Yogis. I also would scope out the hiking trails around where you yoga. Makes for a good conversation and possible first date. Btw, i love to get a shower and then massage after hikes! What a nice Happy Ending to a healthy day...

[needasianspinner]

Obsessive - Maybe you should consider a therapist. If you have never had a real girlfriend, then you need to figure out what is going on. There are several billion people on this planet, and almost all of them end up in relationships.

Building and maintaining a healthy relationship is the hard part. Based on my experiences and observations of family, friends, and coworkers, it is rare to have a long-term healthy relationship. Particularly with the younger generation that wants immediate gratification and is always thinking about whats in it for me. Plus men and women just think and act different, and you have to figure out how to make that work.

But back to your immediate problem, you must be giving off a vibe the girls are not liking. You never want to reek of desperation. You must come off as confident and in control of the situation. Woman are looking for daddy, someone to take care of them. Always remember that they would be lucky to have you in their life.

I like the idea of the yoga class. It is typically small and intimate enough to get to know your classmates, and not seen as the meat-market that gyms can be. Find a girl you like, be friendly but not too much. For the second class, arrive early and sit in your car. When she arrives, follow her in and get a spot next to her. Let her know you are new to this and you could use some pointers. Women love to help guys. They love projects to fix guys. Ask her how she stays in good shape, she will like the compliment. If she likes to run, ask her if she would like to run together. If she has a boyfriend, she will let you know.

In college I always tried to find a girl that I liked, then I would sit next to her. If she was smart, then I would ask for help. If she was not smart, I would help her. It is easy to start relationships. It often depends on chemistry after that.

[mahalo21]

I was just at a Hot Yoga class yesterday, and there were 2 pretty hot younger asian gals in the class! But I feel compelled to share with you it is not an easy sport. My body is sore and relaxed. I am very flexible, but it is amazing on how weak some of your small stabilizer muscles have become. Some poses will have you quivering after only a few seconds. So, now that my secret is out of the bag, i will give you guys a list of things to do.
1. Find at least two places to visit.
2. Their website will explain a bunch.
3. Watch and try some poses at home on you tube
4. Buy a Yoga mat and towel from Ross dress for less for $10.
5. Plan on going for your health with an open mind and possibly the women will just happen.

The rewards are endless and you will be amazed at how flexible and strong these gals are! Btw, i was the only male out of 12 sweaty girls in a room with mirrors everywhere.
Sometimes its good to go with a platonic gal friend so she can be your wingman, so be friendly to everyone there, the other girls will be watching!

[Workswithwood]

Obessive,
The old addage : if it fly's,floats, or fucks....Rent it, still makes a lot of sense.
For companionship, get a dog...it will love you no matter what.
Marrage can cost you $5000.00 per lay, and everything else you have when she decides she is tired of you. Do you know why divorces are expensive? They are worth it!!!!!
"Enjoy the hobby", love the women with all you have, go fly fishing, "Enjoy the hobby",Drive a race car, "Enjoy the hobby" get out for a beer with the buds, "Enjot the hobby". Be carefull what you wish for, no matter how good looking she is, somebody is tired of putting up with her shit........................
Enjoy the Hobby, and good luck

[Obsessive]

I can't get my mind to feel that cold.

I'm used to sleeping alone but I don't want to. I go to parties and events for friends and family alone but I don't want to. I want intimacy but you can't share thoughts or get unique female affection with a dog. Maybe it's the way I grew up neglected and isolated which makes me desire that side of things so much.

I hate when people around me (friends, family, coworkers) wonder if there's something wrong with me that I'm not "with" anyone as if it's by choice or that I'm flawed. I know it runts through their minds. I've sometimes asked friends to set me up but inevitably they provide a half-assed effort because they know or realize what they don't want to say, that I'm cool to talk with or fun hang out with but women don't fall for me. At best they try to pawn off the worst of their friends. I may not be a stud but I know objectively I'm a 7 who presents himself like a 9, but they try to stick me with 4 or below. Women who should be on a treadmill every day and do something with their life other than get drunk and expect society to support their bullshit. I've worked my ass off to be as good as I can be and set up a life of stability even coming from a childhood of near-poverty and isolation, I damn well should not have to compromise significantly on my choice of women. I'm not looking for supermodels or rocket scientists but I would at least feel like I deserve a women almost my equal and as far as I can tell my main flaw is this invisible thing, maybe my demeanor or confidence or esteem, which is lacking.

I'm looking into therapy options, I don't even know what kind of therapy. Shit it costs almost as much as the hobby. I'm appreciative of the practical suggestions so far. I don't want to knock anyone who's given feedback but do want to say that the whole "be an asshole" or "get a dog" type advice isn't really helpful. If that stuff were really true I'd be happy right now but I'm not.

I'm hesitant to describe specific experiences which might help highlight issues and hindrances I've run into but I'm concerned about privacy, and maybe those things are better shared with a therapist. I think I'll need both therapy and to follow some of the advice given here about scenarios to better meet women through. I say I'm a 7 who presents himself like a 9 but deep down in crowds with other men around I get feelings of inferiority and the times I have been alone with women where most people might think it would lead to something good I hesitate too much and I think because I second-guess or fear rejection too much. These things need therapy. It won't help if I meet 100 new women tomorrow if I don't know what my true issues are or how to fix them.

[solomon]

Don't put the pussy on a pedestal. Forget where that line is from, but it's true. I know it's not a very deep response to your issue, but simply put, it holds true. I remember when I was younger, how the "pussy" was like some holy grail that even coming near a woman would make me speechless. Hot woman anyway. Now, its just no big deal. Remember, as men get older, many of us get more options, and for women, the time is ticking away. We are a rising asset, and they are depreciating. When the woman wants it, take a moment to think about it, and if you like, bless them with your time/companionship/sausage/whatever. Hope it works out for you brother.

Also remember, you're not the only guy out there presenting himself as a nine and feeling inferior inside. Its probably more the rule than the exception. And same goes for women. A women you find to be hot and feel not so hot. You just don't know. Sometimes a "casual" compliment goes a long way. Just don't ever put yourself beneath them!

[Workswithwood]

I dont mean to seem cold, I just want to get the point across, that there is way more to life than the companionship of a woman. Besides when you do end your search for the YOUR perfect woman, she is going to want you to have independence and let her be the needy one in the relationship. Get out and compete, not just aganist other people, but compete aganist yourself, decide to do something diffrent....Race something....Run/Bike/Swim/Go carts/ Skeet Shoot..........ten million things to do! Competition is good for the spirit, and to build self esteem, we have all come from sorted childhoods, life is tooooooo short to wait around, life is also tooooooooooooo long to wait around, this is not dress rehersal, this is the real deal.... so just go for it. If you see a woman you are attracted to go and tell her that, if she she rejects it she is a dick and you know right out the gate! I had a roomate 30 yrs ago, that would go up to a woman he found himself attracted to and he would ask her ( and I quote) " I would love to make love to you, would you please abliege me?" He would recieve one of two responses.... either a slap across the face, or a nice piece of ass, he claimed 60% sucess rate. I admitt he was extreem, but we only limit ourselves. Good luck man

[needasianspinner]

Obsessive - get a therapist. I don't know how young or old you are, but a lifetime is not enough time to truly understand ourselves or the women we fall for. A good therapist will help shorten the "learning curve" and will get you on track for success much faster than trial and error. I am not opposed to trial and error, in fact it is the best way to learn. But if you can't get relationships started, then you are never going to learn.
It sounds like even if you did get a decent girl into a relationship, you would start sabotaging. A therapist will help guide you through the learning process. And remember, most people are not very good at learning to be in healthy relationships. So give yourself a break.

[hornyag101]

There is a lot of good advice on here Obsessive but the most important thing is you just need to be OK with your-self first.

I sense a lack of self doubt in the way you talk and woman can definitely pick up on that. What you need to do is just say fuck everybody and do you, that confidence in yourself will be an aphrodisiac for woman.

Just stop doubting your-self and it starts with things other than woman at first. I hate it when people say "Oh, I can't do that" when they have never even tried. You not always going to be the best at something but you should always give your best. That right there is going to build up your confidence and woman will gravitate to that like a pussy magnate.

Never be afraid to fail, we are all going to fail more often than we like but always have the confidence to try again.

Bad shit happens all the time to everyone, confident people move on while those with self-doubt dwell on it as if it doesn't happen to other people, only them.

Your depending on someone else to make you happy but you will be very disappointed when that doesn't happen. The truth is you have to be happy with your-self first before anyone else share in that happiness with you. You can have a relationship were your both miserable, a relationship doesn't equal happiness.

Good luck to you and take care of your-self.

[kushkush]

Okay, so how tall are you really? And don't lie. My guess is that you are 5'4". Certainly not more than 5'6". And this is the real reason you are not getting the women you want. I'm also guessing that you like tall thin women of about 5'8". No woman wants to tower over her man. What is your real age? 30's...probably closer to 40 versus 30. I'll bet 37 or 38. Yeah, 38 is my pick. So, you want a young woman of 25 to 26 that is thin and somewhere between 5'7" and 5'10". Good luck! What you are - is unreasonable. You may not think so and you will likely dismiss me, but if I am right with regards to even 50% of what I have said or guessed, then the real issue is you and your standards. Yeah, go get therapy. Hopefully, they won't sugarcoat reality for you, but who knows. They want you to come back every week too...it's how they make a living. Many are enablers...few are good.

Now, back to wanting a relationship and your companion. First off, tell us what would be reasonable to you in a companion. Not ideal. You will never get your ideal. Tell us what is reasonable. Oh, and you are not a 7. You are a 4.5, maybe a 5 at best. That means you are average. Nothing more and nothing less. What do you want from her and what do you expect from her. Do you really expect a woman of 35 with no kids and never married to simmply want to fuck you without the relatively short expectation of marriage? Do you think some 26 year old girl has the same priorities as you? What you want from them matters. What is your concept of a relationship? A friend to have fun with or a prospect to build a family? If you want a friend for fun times, good luck. It may start out that way, but even the 26 year old wants a family. The 35 year old wants a family yesterday. So, be cognizant of their desires. In fact, that is what you really MUST do. Always be cognizant of their wants and desires. Then you will know if they match your own. Chances are...their desires don't match your own. It's just a question of what you can live with. If you want companionship, then you have to be willing to accept their version of a relationship. That is how they work. Not a mystery.

If both the 35 and 26 year old are solid 7's, you have a much better shot with the 35 year old than the 26 unless the 26 year old has serious issues. Which makes for great sex sometimes, but not a good companion.

What do you make a year? 100K, 200K, 300K, more? If so, that helps, but only to a point. Are you bald? Plugs? Use Rogaine? Very thin hair line or combover? At that point, shave it. What about glasses? Coke bottles?

What I think is that you are not really being honest with yourself. I highly doubt you are a 7. Probably a 4-5.

So, think about what you really offer and adjust your standards. If you cannot get or sustain the right woman, then accept that you will rent pussy. Either way, the issue is with you, not them and you must first come to terms with it.