Study Says Hitler Would Vote For Trump
by Elizabeth Barren, MSDNC
A study released this week from the Political Science Department at NYU comes to the conclusion that if Hitler were alive today he would vote for Republican candidate for president Donald Trump.
"The evidence is overwhelming," said graduate student Abdullah Dynamite, who conducted the study. "Trump's grandfather was German. Hitler was the leader of Nazi Germany. Those Aryan motherfuckers stick together. It's in their blood."
The study goes on to show that Trump is soft on dictators in general, and prefers their law and order grip on society over the chaos that comes with freedom and democracy. He is forgiving of military aggression and willing to make deals with anyone, regardless of their human rights track record. He wants to deport people too, just like Hitler.
"It only makes sense," said Dynamite, from the university's multi-cultural safe space at the student lounge. "Why would Hitler, Putin, or... or uh... Putin, or uh, any other dictator vote for anyone else? Yeah, that Kim dude too. He'd vote for Trump. You gotta watch those Koreans, I tell ya!"
Dynamite's study was cited but not quoted in speeches and campaign ads from various candidates and their supporters during the 2016 election lead-up.
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