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#22
June 12th, 2012
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Kush - Couldn't have said it better myself.
OBS - Try meetup dot com. I've met lots of girls/women with the same interest in a stress free environment. 
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#23
June 13th, 2012
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Quote:
Consider this too. Did your assertiveness turn her off because it was managed poorly? There's a good chance of that. Assertiveness works only if it makes you look strong and confident. If the way you do it looks whiny, weird or over-the-top, it doesn't help you. Imagine Barney Fife standing up to Thelma Lou. Is that you being assertive? Women want men to be men. They like strong, confident men. Men who are calm and unafraid. Yeah, it's a daddy thing. The same way we want mommies. You don't have to be rich or good-looking, but you have to have game. If not, you'll have to settle for whoever is willing to accept you. Either that or be alone. There simply is no other way. As James Coburn said in Cross of Iron, "a man is, generally, what he believes himself to be." Don't try to fool yourself. Deep down, you know where you fit in. Your anxiety stems from denying it. And as Jesus said, "there will always be greater and lesser men than you." (I think it was Jesus). Accept who you are. Women hate insecurity and over-sensitivity, which comes from a sense of not measuring up. One last quote. "A man has got to know his limitations" (Clint Eastwood in Magnum Force). Don't try to be more than you can be. Good luck! Last edited by asiansam; June 14th, 2012 at 05:57 AM.
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#25
June 16th, 2012
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Obs...Another turn on the Monger Couch. Your name describes it all, so watch out for appearing needy or over-analyzing. As has been said, they sense weakness and move to strength. In younger days, places like AMPs were great to take the edge off and allowed me to take my time with prospects. Some even wondered about themselves after a time, even asking if I found them attractive.
Make sure your issues aren't revealed in any fashion. This doesn't mean being a total Lykess advocate, just use what works for you, although his technique isn't all bad. Actually, maybe it's easier to just give up and pay to play...so much less drama, really!
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#26
June 17th, 2012
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you should quit this hobby and talk to a therapist. Not joking at all about either one. Not sure how you guys can do this shit for years, I am single with no commitments or worries and started last August out of curiosity and am at a point where if they aren't super hot, I am not interested and hate when I get a provider I don't find really attractive. And even the hot young ones are getting to feel like a total waste of money. This hobby in general has way more negative/depressing things on the ledger than the positive/fun side. Maybe I'm just not monger material, haha.
I don't have any interest in having relationships with providers outside of their work, so can't speak on that, but I doubt that is helping your situation at all.
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#27
June 21st, 2012
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kushkush was pretty unforgiving. Not an easy read but I don't mind anyone trying to kick my ass if the advice helps. Yes, I'm not tall, I'm below average height but I don't prefer tall girls anyway. I almost always go for girls who are very small and petite, almost all the women I've went for the the past decade who were not pay-for-play were 5'4" or shorter. I don't know how to gauge men's looks objectively but I'm in decent shape and do my best to present what I have. I'm not bald or balding but my hairline is not the same as when I was 18. I wear contacts, I tan, I take care of my body. 4.5 is too harsh objectively, but maybe my self-assessment of 7 is too high. I don't know, but I'm not going for super models. I'm trying to connect with women who I feel are realistically within my reach.
I spent years thinking it was one thing or another and never assessing my behavior or vibe or esteem. I know for sure now it's what's in my head, my behaviors, my habits and things that are not necessarily physical which are the biggest things I need to somehow fix. I'm not "Shallow Hal". If I were going for super hot women who anyone being objective would wonder what she'd be doing with me then, yes, I would think I'm being unrealistic. Still, I do know that I also never compromise and lower my standards. I'm not attracted to women who are overweight, don't take care of themselves or are simply not objectively at least a little attractive. But if I consider that kushkush is even half right (like he said) then what do I do? I am right now doing my best to maximize what I have going for me and am trying to be open-minded but it's going to be objectively ridiculous to lower my standards so low that even I wonder what I'm doing with some girl who's a slob. I think the most accurate thing kushkush said was about figuring out what the desires are for the women I want to go after. It's probably the most accurate thing he said. It's very likely I focus on my own desires entirely and don't consider or adjust for theirs. It's not that I don't want what they might want, it's that I'm not actually being realistic about how to assess what they want and either how to give it to them or move on to find someone else who hopefully is closer to what I can match.
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#28
June 21st, 2012
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#30
June 23rd, 2012
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It is not uncommon to see a fat or ugly man with a hot girl. Money helps. But game is important. You can be broke, but have game and confidence and get lots of women.
Woman get quickly turned off by men that lack confidence. They want a man. Do you struggle to succeed at work? Are your friends strange?
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