Wow, this reminds me a bit of myself about 6 years ago or so. Years of frustration, rejection, in early 30's, etc. (and without the young, hotties as well). I did have a couple American girlfriends that lasted over 6 months each, and I'd consider them traditional, healthy relationships, just couldn't keep the spark going. I tried eharmony and actually had (3) pleasant 1st dates with good conversation. But no 2nd dates for various reasons.
I had previously lived in the Philippines during my college age and remembered getting more attention from the ladies, love letters/notes and gals noticing me and in some cases falling for me much easier. Never followed thru on the penpals though besides letters and calls. Now it was years later and the idea was filed away in my head. I sorta gave up on American gals. I didn't like the fat look and sense of entitlement. I was attracted to petite Asian women, dark hair, dark complexion.
I chatted with some Filipinas on person.com and struck up some friendships and conversation. Being a white dude that spoke Tagalog helped, and a belief in humanitarian service didn't hurt. One girl emailed me from another site i had a profile posted on. We emailed a couple weeks, then chatted on yahoo messenger. After about 7 months we met in the Philippines. She liked my nose, eyes, smile and so on. She pursued me more than I did her but it was mutual.
Now we have been in a relationship for 5 years and married for 4. The immigration thing was a big pain. Is it a perfect relationship and marriage? Not at all. We fight a bunch and have our struggles. But even today we sincerely love each other. I have experienced love in my life. I have enjoyed the companionship these past 4 years. She can be very sweet. I don't miss having meals alone and coming home to an empty 2 bedroom apartment. Will we go the distance? I don't know. I'm not sure. But I don't regret my decision. I took some risk and experienced some dividends. My heart feels lighter than it did 6 years ago. I don't feel alone.
International travel / southeast Asia is an option. Not a perfect or easy option by any stretch, but an option.
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