Quote:
Originally Posted by Velovelo
Always take them to their place to fuck, or a motel. Never your place. That way when you're done you can towel off and leave, get home and watch Sports Center before bed. None of that "Take me to breakfast" bullshit.
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Hey Velovelo, I've come across the "be an asshole" advice often but I believe it's skewed a bit. The better looking or tall or built a guy is, the more likely he can pull it off but there's a lower threshold under which no matter how well it's pulled off it simply will not work. I don't have that sort of big or attractive presence - I'm not putting myself down, it's simply a fact. I don't want to lie to myself and waste more time, I need to work with what I have. I do go to the gym and eat healthy and do my best to dress well. I'm also a good communicator, I've been told that often enough that I can say for sure it's true. I think the main thing implied with "be an asshole" is "don't be a door mat" which is the same thing but without being a dick. I've tried it all, no difference other than I turn them off faster because the more past that lower threshold a guy is the reaction is totally the opposite.
When I'm assertive or don't let a woman walk on me, it doesn't help and just makes her ditch being around me even faster. When I'm an outright asshole, I not only lose her interest but her circle of friends too. I'm not being nice, either, I would say I am neutral in that I only do positive things for women who do positive things for me - which is almost never.
Another thing, particularly what I quoted from you above about the notion of fucking them and leaving them. If that's what I wanted then I would be happy with what I'm doing now which is finding young hot girls and only seeing them once or twice a week for a couple hours to hang out and fuck and the cost is not huge. What I really want is genuine companionship from a girl who I would want to fuck and who also wants to fuck me, even if we don't fuck all the time. Definitely that doesn't have to be marriage, just a normal healthy mutually equal relationship. I don't even care if she clings on partly because I can provide resources like any man really should be able to, so long as it's not me literally handing over cash for every time we fuck.
I'm tired of coming home to an empty house. I'm tired of experiencing an existence where the only sex I'm getting involves a financial arrangement and never includes anything except temporary physical pleasure.
I'm a smart guy and it's possible I over-think. Clearly I am doing something wrong, there is something about the way I behave or look or connect with women that holds back on something I desire, or even the desire itself is holding me back as I may be projecting. The difficult part is that I can't see what it is.
Maybe what would help is for me to ask others to describe how they got into genuine relationships in the first place? I don't mean "I met her through friends and we started dating." I mean like "we seemed to get along and I finally got her alone by whistling dixie and then when it seemed like she was laughing really happily to a joke I leaned over and kissed her. She dodged but then I wanked my toodlepops and showed her my tattoo and leaned in again and she finally kissed back. Then we fucked like banshees and so on and so on." Maybe it sounds stupid to ask about this but what I'm looking for are details that contradict my intuition about what I think is normal versus abnormal in the real ritual of how people hook up and not some bullshit that people might talk about or movies might portray. What I'm looking for is to understand what happens when two people are alone that shifts things from platonic to sexual. It can't be just about making a move, or is it? Always making a move no matter what? Presuming if I manage to get a date at all and end up alone to always make a move and, even if rejected, try again & again? I feel like I've already gone through this enough and experienced so much rejection that my body doesn't act even when my mind wants to - because I'm trying to avoid the extreme emotional pain of rejection.