"..this seems to work for me like fulfilling a form of sexual addiction."
Maybe you are a sex addict and that the only way you can bond or find intimacy with another is having sex with her (or him not like there's anything wrong with that).
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"I prefer girls who ...come over because on some level it's not innocent either."
Dude, that's called dating, where you find someone you like and who likes you enough to spend time with you without having to have to screw or have some sexual contact with you. Females who won't screw you right away may hold out to have a relationship with you. Or not. But generally, if you cherish her, and if you are someone she can see herself with, then you are golden. Otherwise, move on. Save your money on bigger things like a house, or an income property. Go to a meetup to meet girls to date.
Even if you succeed in turning her out, she'll just become a whore or a conquest. If you really like her, you'll want to see her as more than that.
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