thanks Hornyyag, sometimes i think I am such a big pussy. I saw something at work the other week. I had a patient who was made a quadraplegic at a young age. He could talk and move his right hand a little, and move his head a little everything else dead. He was given pennicillan when he was young and turned out he was super allergic to it. It "killed" him, anaphlactic shock. He suffered a "hypoxic brain injury" from the profound low blood pressure. it only affected his motor part of the brain though. His intellect is fully intack.
When i first saw him in my mind I thought "great! Another Gomer that I am going to waste a lot of effort on." But when i cam up to him an talked to him, beyond his physical problems, he had contractures and needed a ventilator to his tracheostomy to breath for him, this guy was really something special. Now I am kind of a callous and jaded guy, so I don't throw the word "special" around a lot.
This guy had a kind of famous last name. He was related to one of the outlaw gangs from the wild west AKA Jesse James. When he spoke he had a charisma even if he was physically fucked up. it was not his name that impressed me. it ws his attitude. He did not want my pity. He knew he was fucked up, but he seemed like somehow he had come to grips with it. He was not depressed. He actually was kind of funny. I did not ask him how he dealt with his situation. He had a home nurse who was with him. This nurse too excellent care of him. His teeth were nice "a hallmark of good care' and his skin was good, no breakdown.
If this guy could live and be happy what in the fuick is my major malfuction I thought. i was actually a little uplifted by this guy. Not in a "fraudenshadt" kind of way. I just marveled at how the hell could he keep a positve out look like that. He was in his 40's. I also thought what a charsmatic guy and what he could have been if he did not get fucked up like that. Clearly he could have been somebody. he had a "presence" that I could feel when i was near him. Like an aura. It was very strange, I never felt anything like that before.
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