kushkush was pretty unforgiving. Not an easy read but I don't mind anyone trying to kick my ass if the advice helps. Yes, I'm not tall, I'm below average height but I don't prefer tall girls anyway. I almost always go for girls who are very small and petite, almost all the women I've went for the the past decade who were not pay-for-play were 5'4" or shorter. I don't know how to gauge men's looks objectively but I'm in decent shape and do my best to present what I have. I'm not bald or balding but my hairline is not the same as when I was 18. I wear contacts, I tan, I take care of my body. 4.5 is too harsh objectively, but maybe my self-assessment of 7 is too high. I don't know, but I'm not going for super models. I'm trying to connect with women who I feel are realistically within my reach.
I spent years thinking it was one thing or another and never assessing my behavior or vibe or esteem. I know for sure now it's what's in my head, my behaviors, my habits and things that are not necessarily physical which are the biggest things I need to somehow fix.
I'm not "Shallow Hal". If I were going for super hot women who anyone being objective would wonder what she'd be doing with me then, yes, I would think I'm being unrealistic. Still, I do know that I also never compromise and lower my standards. I'm not attracted to women who are overweight, don't take care of themselves or are simply not objectively at least a little attractive.
But if I consider that kushkush is even half right (like he said) then what do I do? I am right now doing my best to maximize what I have going for me and am trying to be open-minded but it's going to be objectively ridiculous to lower my standards so low that even I wonder what I'm doing with some girl who's a slob.
I think the most accurate thing kushkush said was about figuring out what the desires are for the women I want to go after. It's probably the most accurate thing he said. It's very likely I focus on my own desires entirely and don't consider or adjust for theirs. It's not that I don't want what they might want, it's that I'm not actually being realistic about how to assess what they want and either how to give it to them or move on to find someone else who hopefully is closer to what I can match.
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