A Bit of Self-deprecation
 

Ok, mongers. I’ll give you guys a laugh at my expense. Yesterday afternoon, I visited an AMP girl, whose been reviewed by me a few times and several times by others. She whacks a good pole and my pole needed some exercise.
I just finished having lunch, which I know is a no-no. After paying, I felt like I needed to get rid of some of the ice tea I had been drinking. While standing at the mall I let out a little flatulence. Oh, oh! That wasn’t flatulence. That was a shart! I quickly dropled my pants and grabed some toilet paper to clean myself. I also looked down in my shorts. Dammit! I grabed more toilet paper. No use. I looked around and found one of those plastic “Thank You” bags that must’ve been used for some restaurant takeout. I put my pants back on and went commando. The soiled shorts when in the bag, rolled up and in my pocket.
I usually like to show up to places showered and fresh. I feared that my ass crack smelled like shart. I had already paid and my provider was waiting outside to show me into the room. So I took the room. Feeling very self-conscious that she could smell my accident.
Everything was OK while she was doing my back and my butt. On the flip, she did grabbed a towel to wipe my junk. I guess he thought I might’ve had dribble on it after taking a piss.

After I shower and get ready to hit the amp. I'll go to the bathroom, wet one of the paper towels put some soap on it and clean my butt. Just in case I sweated some on the eay ther, that way I have confidence that I smell fresh. You should heed my advice Deez. Lol

Umm! Fresh a daisy! From now on, I'll be sure to bring a pocket pack of wipes.

Always a mistake to eat before.
This summer I had a tiny young petite black provider come over, she goes by Egypt now Pocahontus before.
She's really hot and very sweet and well mannered but the menu is all covered.
I was at the sushi bar drinking beer and sake when she hit me up on txt messaging.
So I said sure come on over.
I'll be home in a few minutes.
So I close out my tab and Uber home.
While I'm there waiting I smoked a little and all of a sudden I though I had to fart and took a dump before I had the slightest chance to take a step to the bath room.
Smoking did that to me once before so I should have known especially after eating a ton of sushi and drinking sake.

Knowing full well she's on her way I took the pants off and tossed them outside in the garbage then hopped in the shower for major clean up.
She was never the wiser but I did tell some of my buddies for kicks and giggles.

Well since we are telling stories
Years ago my atf was getting very Randy and was getting very wet and I just slipped in all the way, maybe a little to quickly. She farted then laid down a one footer in the bed, Damn it was funny, she wouldn’t tany money, and I never went back

[quote=Lmccj;93386]Well since we are telling stories
Years ago my atf was getting very Randy and was getting very wet and I just slipped in all the way, maybe a little to quickly. She farted then laid down a one footer in the bed, Damn it was funny, she wouldn’t tany money, and I never went back[/QUOTE

OMG:eek:

:eek: Oh, No!

Cool customer:cool:

Oh No! Sushi and Saki. I can see how that would travel right through.:D

One time i had a long drive from San Diego to LA Harbor City area and at least i was going to a provider i knew well. I almost made it but did not know I was going to have a small accident. Luckily i was going to stay a couple of days so i went into the spa with a small bag with change of clothes. My provider had a table shower and when I got in there i told her what had just occurred enroute just before arrival. So stripped down to all but the hanes going into table shower. She cleaned me and the undies all up, wrapped a towel around me after drying, bagged the shorts for me, and we were back to the room where i had my change of clothes for later. We had great time with me all cleaned up, and she took it totally in stride. Now that's a trooper.