"Myths about Divorce"
 

Many men here feel trapped by their marriages and see providers because they're afraid to get a divorce and move on. Having just gone through a divorce, I've discovered many of the things people said that scared me to stay together were just not true.Myth #1: The woman usually wins the kids.
In California, the default is 50/50 custody, so you'll probbaly be with your children half the time and independent half the time.
Myth #2: You'll pay crippling spousal support all your life.
In California, that only happens if you've been married ten years. Generally you pay for (# years of marriage) / 2.
Myth #3: She'll win all your assets.
In California, she'll generally win 50% of your assets with some pre-marriage exceptions. Settle to avoid costly legal battles.
Myth #4: It's always better for the children to stay.
Unclear. If you're arguing, tense, withdrawing, or unhappy... consider that your children may be better off with two happy parents.
Myth #5: Who'll enter a relationship with a man with kids?
Surprisingly, there are some! She may not be able to have kids, or she may be a single parent, or she may even see the way you treated your wife as a positive sign of character.
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That's not to say divorce is all sunshine and roses. No matter how dysfunctional your relationship, your wife probably does *some* things for you or the kids that you'll have to learn to do on your own. You'll be poorer for the alimony period. And if you fell into a bad relationship, you almost certainly have some personal work to do before dating again, so you don't make the same mistake twice.
But overall, I'm glad to be single again! It's been fun learning new skills, meeting new people, and exploring new interests. http://forum.myredbook.com/dcforum2/Images/happy.gif

This is good advice. Thanks for posting it.

Does anyone know what happens after you retire to your alimony payments?
Lets say your in California, married for over ten years, and you are ordered to pay say $3000 per month... What happens when you want to retire? Can you retire early and avoid some alimony?

Damn...I just passed the ten year marriage mark last month...

I admit I'm afraid to get a divorce for many of the reasons/myths you mentioned.

I was raised by a single parent, so I really want my kids to have a two parent household through high school even if things aren't all sunshine. And we rarely argue in front of the kids, so they don't really have a sense of our problems.

And of course the financial penalty would dramatically reduce my lifestyle and I would basically have to start all over. Right now it's much cheaper just to see escorts and goto AMPs on the side rather than paying thousands of dollars in spousal/child support per month and losing half of my assets.

The California divorce laws encourage me to cheat. :p

+1

The problem That i have SS is at some point you realize that after 10 years or even 20 years is only about 20 -25% of the total sentence you have to serve. I am ok for escorts and amps for a short time to make the little guy happy, but its the affection and passion that I now crave that only a relationship can provide...