Don't put the pussy on a pedestal. Forget where that line is from, but it's true. I know it's not a very deep response to your issue, but simply put, it holds true. I remember when I was younger, how the "pussy" was like some holy grail that even coming near a woman would make me speechless. Hot woman anyway. Now, its just no big deal. Remember, as men get older, many of us get more options, and for women, the time is ticking away. We are a rising asset, and they are depreciating. When the woman wants it, take a moment to think about it, and if you like, bless them with your time/companionship/sausage/whatever. Hope it works out for you brother.
Also remember, you're not the only guy out there presenting himself as a nine and feeling inferior inside. Its probably more the rule than the exception. And same goes for women. A women you find to be hot and feel not so hot. You just don't know. Sometimes a "casual" compliment goes a long way. Just don't ever put yourself beneath them!
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